Scared to go out, panicking indoors

Coronavirus kills. It killed my mother. Guilt, terrible guilt at not being able to visit. Guilt heaped on top of guilt. Guilt caused by lifelong depression. Always there, made worse by lockdown. No social network to keep me afloat. Unreality. My mother died without me. Scared, scared to go out, panicking indoors. Mental health Skype groups a lifeline. Hang on for a vaccine. My mental health is always a step away from crisis. Bipolar plus coronavirus, a lethal combination. Follow advice. Take medication, walk daily, vitamin D supplements, invest in a light therapy lamp. Sunshine in the living room. Helpful. Missing my grown up kids, grandchildren. Missing my latte with friends. Friends who share mental illness. We used to laugh, support one another. Going shopping, mask on, don’t look at anyone, don’t touch anything you don’t want to buy. Mental health damaged for ever by Coronavirus.